Syrik's Drunken Sailing

Ardo's New Diary [Entry 1]

This is seriously lying around where anyone can find it.

So I’ve been on this ship called the shackled fate for little while now, and I have to say its not that bad. Especially the first mate, if she wasn’t a stick in the mud the things I’d do to her would make her forget all about that little greek boy. I should probably keep this thing cleanish though in case I leave it laying around in my laziness. Ah who am I kidding that’s no fun! READ AWAY fellow voyeurs. (Except greeks)

[Included is an amateur doodle of the first mate naked, followed by her in several very involved positions.]

My first mission after signing up was to infiltrate an Underdark drow metropolis, filled with many fine ladies. one of whom we had captured beforehand in battle. She gave us, well me, enough information to get around the city without wasting time. Needless to say I didn’t actually need her information because I am good at what I do, and by necessity what I do goes off of the cuff anyway. A little planning doesn’t hurt but plan too much and the giant starvation demon gums up the works something fierce if you cant adapt. It took me a few hours to navigate the Dwarven city’s ruins. Where i stumbled across some very fine quality ale. (Free Drinks for any lady reading this.)

After I finally made it down to the metropolis I did some exploring, screwed with some people (figuratively this time). and proceeded to navigate the city. Trusting my gut I followed up on some conversations I had heard about a previous interloper. Turns out to have been a good plan as I managed to bust him out and he can help us with our larger overarching goal (which I’m still hazy on, if anybody reading this knows more please fill me in.) With his help I easily collected the orb, and completed my task. The captain gave me 24 hours for delicious looting and free time afterwards, which I proceeded to squander like an idiot. I tried to help rid the ruins of their curse that mutated and misshaped the dwarves. I spent the better part of day attempting this and almost died in the process. When I finally had to leave I took what I could in 30minutes, and escaped before the curse set in on me. I’ve got more oat sowing to do before I give up and become a crazy. I was a little peeved that what help I did receive was lackluster and cryptic. I got more help from the succubi hot goddesses before I went in. Seriously whats with that. I then was cursed to never perceive breasts again after I got a bit lippy after HAVING ALMOST DIED TO LIFT A CURSE OUT OF THE GOODNESS OF MY HEART!!! To those of you reading this how lame is that i mean seriously, life without a nice pair of breasts to fondle. I fixed that problem by sacrificing praying to the succubi hot goddesses that I serve. Anyway that’s basically all that’s happened that was interesting, other than the session to prove ourselves. Which was easier by leaps and bounds than infiltrating an vault guarded by what was effectively an army, but I mean I guess technically they didn’t see it happen so I cant prove that I didn’t just stumble upon those magic items.

This isn’t really a diary and I don’t plan on writing anything more in this particular journal.
What follows is an instruction book for the better part of life. The hookers in our care are versed in these arts, but for those of the crew that enjoy time with them I urge you to at least pass on this part of the book to others so as to ensure that they have a pleasurable as well as profitable time aboard. If you have trouble the women of pleasure will be happy to teach.

[More detailed sketches, while still amateur, follow depicting many imaginable and unimaginable acts of sexual congress. Some of the last entries require flight. Each picture also has captions to explain and highlight possible changes that may need to be made to accommodate smaller or larger creatures and creatures with varying anatomies]


satheyo Ronin_Kai

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